Stupid Animal Band Names

Man I’m turning into a cantankerous old git. It’s to the point, some days, where all I have to do is look at a band name to get pissed off. For some reason or other stupid band names are popping up all over the place, and no where is this more prominent than in the so-called ‘alternative’ category. What’s up with bands naming themselves after animals, or animal by products, or things you do with animals, anyway? Deerhunter, Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear, Deertick, Deerhoof, Wolf Parade, Band Of Horses, Panda Bear, The Bird and the Bee, Eagles Of Death Metal (ok, that one’s kind of cool).

It’s enough to make me vom. So let’s clear the air and get the entire possible stupid animal band names out of the way; and I won’t be surprised in the least if some of these already exist, or will pop up on future reviews on Pitchfork.

Gorilla Snot
Zebra Ear Fuzz
Mouse Turds
The Acacia Rats
The Degus Muffins
Chupacabra Horrors
The Poofy Hares
Rhesus Monkey Virus
African Pygmy Hedgehog Disaster
The Drooling Blobfish Of Madagascar
The Asian Chinchilla Alliance
Fancy Ground Squirrels
The Abused Half-Breeds
Blue Tongued Skinks
Bulging Eyed Geckos
Axolotis
Horse Mess
Catworm
The Hermit Crab Walkers
Mexican Peg-Leg Desert Dogs
The Docile Alpacas
Sarcastic Llamas
The Phallic Boa Constrictors
Kinkajou Invasion
Nocturnal Bengal Cats
The Ugly Macaws
The Reticulated Turtle Shells
The Ball Licking Arthrop

Advertisements