Uncle E’s 12 Step Program For Music Addicts

  1. We must admit we are powerless over music—that our lives have become unmanageable due to our endless quest for the perfect album.
  2. We have come to believe that only a Power greater than ourselves (The Beatles) could restore us to sanity.
  3. We must make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power, and not question Their authority.
  4. We also must conduct a searching and fearless moral inventory of our record collections and purge ourselves of the ‘less worthy’.
  5. We need to admit to The Power, and to ourselves, and to other human music addicts the exact nature of our collections, including our guilty pleasures.
  6. We’re entirely ready to remove all these defects of our record library immediately and vow never to return to such things.
  7. We humbly ask that The Power remove our shortcomings and deliver us from the temptation of the used CD bins.

       8. We will make a list of all non-music snobs we have harmed during our lifeimes, and became willing to make amends to them all.

  1. We agree to make these direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others, or damage our reputation within our circle of fellow music snobs.
  2. We shall continue to take personal inventory of our record collections, and when we purchase a shit record we need to promptly admit it and purge our collections of the abomination immediately.
  3. We will seek through prayer and quality music magazines, and blogs, to improve our record collection, knowing that we will never reach perfection but will continue to strive for it.
  4. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we must at all costs carry this message to other music addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.