Two Of The Worst Songs Of The 1960’s

From popdose, ’cause I got nothin’ today.

“Hello, I Love You,” the Doors (Amazon). I hate the Doors. Hate ‘em. Always have, always will. I hang onto my copy of the 1985 second edition of the Rolling Stone Record Guide just so I can occasionally re-read Dave Marsh as he brings the hammer down on the “obnoxious and insipid cult that now surrounds Jim Morrison.” He concludes: “Is this the most overrated group in rock history? Only a truly terminal case of arrested adolescence can hold out against such a judgment for very long.” That said, it’s hard to argue with “Light My Fire,” so instead I’ll call out the hunk of junk known as “Hello, I Love You.” It features a typically pompous, dick-swinging Morrison vocal and annoying keyboard effects by Ray Manzarek, all in the service of a girl-watching song that trashily rips off the theme of Roy Orbison’s “Oh Pretty Woman.” By the way, have I told you how much I hate the Doors?

“Hello Goodbye,” the Beatles (Amazon). The Beatles were responsible for just about 10 percent of the songs that reached Number One between 1961 and 1970 — you can look it up — so it would seem natural that they make an appearance on this list. But I don’t include “Hello Goodbye” just to establish a Beatles beachhead. C’mon, admit it — this is one dippy little piece of Paul-poo. Imagine: John shows up in the studio with frickin’ “I Am the Walrus,” and Paul says, “Right, mate, I’ve got a perfect little A-side for that one,” and starts in on the “hey-la, hey-ba hello-ah” bit. And John thinks, not for the last time, “How do you sleep?”