Swooning Over The Carpenters

By Nick…

If I was a Carpenter.

Just turned the cd player off and….took a deep breath.
Goddammit the Carpenters were good. Beautifully structured songs played immaculately, and as for Karen’s voice….

oh my fekkin’ God.

Talk about Dusty (Springfield) all you like guys, she was fantastic, but…

I defy any reader to trump my top card…

Karen Carpenter.

Thing is, the Carpenters were not just easy listening….have to admit that I thought they were for a few (too many) years. It was only after I started playing guitar and generally tried to be ‘artistic’ that I realized “Goodbye To Love” is not only one of the best songs ever written, it contains THE best guitar solo ever played….and all you axe maniacs out there…just try and play it!!! (ok…a bit OTT there, Jeff Beck on Python Lee Jackson’s ‘In a Broken Dream’ is very very close.)

They had the Burt Bacharach/Hal David songbook at their disposal…ffs…how cool can you get? Karen could hit the high notes, she could swoop down so low that there wasn’t a single earthworm that was safe so………………..why oh why?

Karen, I’m REALLY pissed off with you.

If there was a problem in your life, I would have listened to you shouting/bitching/meandering…coz I loved you. There was NO NEED to do what you did!

Did you really feel so undervalued that starving yourself to death was some kind of solution or a valid statement?

I hate you for leaving this world too soon…at least I’ve got your music.

Karen….luv ya.