“Oasis Will Never Reunite”, says Noel Gallagher

Yet another rant from guest blogger Cousin Dupree…

In a recent article in the NME, Noel Gallagher states that Oasis will not reform unless he’s broke, which he says will be…never.

Oh, God please, say it ain’t so!

Yup, it’s all true, says the elder Gallagher brother, and goes on to tout his new band, Beady Eye (ugh!), has just recorded the “best album in 50 years”.

“We have this tune and it was a bit Rolling Stonesy, and I didn’t like it,” he said of the recording sessions for the group’s debut album, which is due out next year. “It was slow and boring. So we just got on a piano and fuck it up, Jerry Lee style, and stuck a John Lennon vocal on the top. It’s good.”

He stuck a John Lennon vocal on top?!? Really? Don’t wonder too far out of your comfort zone, Noel me lad! Take it easy, don’t blow your wad too early, get folks expectations up too high.

Honestly, is there anyone out there who cares? Is there anyone out there who ever, really cared? Definately Maybe was a great album, What’s the Story (Morning Glory)? was a pretty good album and everything that came after was a load of cocaine induced bollocks.

Give it up, mate, before you turn into Billy “Effing” Corgan.