The hissing of omelettes, the breaking of legs/ Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eggs

I was watching the Denzel Washington remake of “The Manchurian Candidate” the other day and realized (this is at least my 3rd viewing) that Robyn Hitchcock has a fairly substantial role as a villain. Huh.

The new LCD Soundsystem album is growing on me…substantially.

The new remastered edition of Exile On Main Street has rekindled my interest in pre-1975 Stones albums. This remains my favorite, just ‘cause it’s dirty.

I worked the county fair booth for my newspaper over the weekend and was horrified by the sounds coming from the music tent to my right. Terrible versions of Footloose, We Built This City, various Tom Petty and CCR songs played while the Great Unwashed drank their Coors, danced on the lawn held aloft disposable Bic lighters. A 6-hour stint at the booth felt like 10 years. Oh, and the headlining act was Lou Graham from 70’s AOR powerhouse Foreigner. Felt a little sorry for him, actually…

I, along with select others at my newspaper, were threatened in a letter by a disgruntled reader the other day. He said he was “going to taser us ‘till we flapped around on the floor and pissed our pants.” Charming.

If you can find it, download the following musical curio: Godley and Crème’s “An Englishman In New York”. Delightfully wigged out stuff.

Demented New York athletes staggering round the block
Deformed Chicano’ s pour in, Chicago’s rolling stock
Digital bathrooms drilling for furs
Surgical stockings marked his and hers
Guggenheim attitudes back to back
With Jewish Baroque

No way street
No way street
Happy to see you, have a nice day!

Defecting Russian dancers dance into Hockney prints
Exclusive to Bloomingdales, gift-wrapped in red
From the land of blue rinse
They boggle at menus in Olde English verse
“Ode to burger” by Keats at his worst
The hissing of omelettes the breaking of legs
Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eggs
The pink fillet mignon looks black on the negs

Strange apparatus
You’ve never seen
Strange apparatus, even stranger theme
Street alligators
Big Anglophile
Will navigate us through a change of style

I came, I saw, what manner of beast is this
New York, you talk a little bit left of centre
A scream, a shout
New York is throwing its weight about
Walk tall, walk straight, spit the world right in the eye
The stranger the wood the straighter the arrow
Dismembered hopeful My-Lai veterans queuing for sleaze
“Sorry no dogs, no fags, no shriners, and no amputees”
Sexual athlete applies for audition
Willing to make it in any position
Just one of the extras with blood on their faces
In snow-white and the seven basket cases
I’m happy and dopey and dirty in places
No way street
No way street
Lock up your daughters, Avon crawling!

Devoted collectors of paraphernalia out walking the rock
Battle and bitch for the ultimate kitch
of a crucifix clock
Two miniature romans, running on rails
Appear every hour and bang in the nails
I’ve got to have it, Christ, I gotta be the first
on our block

Disturbing facts about Nazi splinter groups seen on the news
They’re picketing synagogues and claiming that
Hitler was King of the Jews
Caught in the tunnel an ambulance howls
A men’s room attendant is flapping his jowls
Ssshh, Howard Johnson is moving his bowels

Strange apparatus
You’ve never seen
Strange apparatus, even stranger theme
Street alligators
Big Anglophile
Will navigate us through a change of style
Strange apparatus
You’ve never seen
Strange apparatus, even stranger theme
Walk straight, walk tall, spit the world right in the eye
The stranger the wood, the straighter the arrow

No way street
No way street

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